ACG InterGrowth 2007: Too much PE $ chasing too few deals

The storied hotel, built in 1929 amidst tall palms in the desert, is the site for the 36^th annual Association for Corporate Growth event that began on Wednesday, bringing more than 1,800 movers and shakers from the middle-market deal community across the U.S. — a who’s who list of private equity firms, investment banks, intermediaries, law firms and accountants — to network, talk deals, listen to panels about the latest trends in M&A dealmaking and, of course, to golf.

The number of conference attendees has smashed past ACG attendance records. More importantly, though, it illustrates how a business once started by a handful of junk bond-using financial engineers on the East and West Coasts has matured into a large industry revolving around acquisitions of small, midsized and large companies.

After ACG president and chief executive Daniel Varroney introduced the event at the luncheon for the conference, attracting municipal officials from as far away as Tianjin, China, ACG chair Jeri Harman and vice chair Mark Jones ignited laughter in the room by running through the list addressing the theme of too much private equity money.

The remaining top 10 signs:

10. Al Gore publishes a new book: "An Inconvenient Ebitda Multiple."
9. As a unique marketing ploy, Golub Capital places a Lawrence Golub "bobblehead" in every box of Lucky Charms.

8. American Capital recently announced a highest policy guarantee campaign — they will beat any bid, anytime, anywhere — just bring in a copy of a competing L.O.I. for proof.

7. In an unprecedented move, KKR buys all 140 PEG tables at ACG InterGrowth 2008 so they can invest their new $100 billion fund.

6. The Carlyle Group hires Paris Hilton and Britney Spears as their chief marketing officers.

5. Mezzanine, accent on the "e," supplants Kathryn as the No. 1 name for baby girls.

4. You lose an auction to a new PE group started last month by your mother.

3. (See above.)

2. The new Henry Kravis and Beyonce CD, "Bootylicious Deal Flow," goes double platinum.

1. A $10 million fine is levied against NBC after Justin Timberlake tears off Tom Lee’s boxers at the Super Bowl half time show in what Lee describes as a "wardrobe malfunction." —Kelly Holman