But this is what it's come to. You can only trot out that stock, bond, mutual fund, fill-in-the-product-here story so many times, especially when investing is no longer seen as an activity for the masses, but something more fit for the Schwarzmans and hedge funders of the world. Indeed, the matrimony story is part of Money's "Getting Rich in America" issue, which implores people to throw off their 9-to-5 shackles — with their botched pensions, long hours and countless indignities — and become entrepreneurs. Sure it's risky, Money admits. But, hey, "it may be more realistic than you think, once you get real about what it takes." And besides, it's one of the only ways to make "real wealth" these days, Money tells us, aside from marrying rich. So the dirty little secret is out. All those savings and investment tips the magazine and its rivals have spewed out all these years — all those skipped lattes! — aren't going to cut it unless you stop working for The Man. Or marry him.
The latest issue of Money's Time Inc. sibling, Fortune, is also concerned with getting rich. It's the annual "special investors issue" and, just as it did last year, the cover features a perfect couple sitting at a perfect beach under a perfect sky and a headline imploring us to "Retire Rich." OK, already. So how much does it take, exactly, to make that happen? "We think $5 million has a nice ring to it," Fortune tells us in the issue's opening. "And with the advice we offer in this issue, it's not an impossible dream."
Are they kidding?
Sure, for CEOs or Schwarzman that $5 million figure is fine, if not laughably low. But for most Fortune readers? What kind of scary message is the magazine sending to people with white-collar jobs, kids to put through college, mortgages to pay, and other normal, midlife expenses? Will they ever make it to that beach? Should they just take the gas pipe? Even Fortune managing editor Andy Serwer mutters in his blog of his latest issue: "For church mice like us, this is eye candy." If Serwer, a Time Inc. honcho, is a church mouse, what's everyone else?
Doesn't matter. The issue maintains it can help us retire rich, and it's stuffed with the usual personal finance fare of stock, fund and real estate picks. Dig deeper, however, and you realize the issue isn't about retirement at all. A "bonus section" on "life after work" focuses not on retirees, but on middle-aged folks — one guy is only 41 — who quit their corporate jobs to go into business for themselves. (They must have read the latest issue of Money.) Another feature brings us lucky stiffs who retired at 50 or so. While this group really did retire, they hardly represent the average pensioner. One was the CEO of a tech company; another, the widow of a venture capitalist, made a fortune after selling her specialty foods business.
Hey, we're all for aspirational journalism, but this is getting out of hand. Where are the stories on real retirement: the one where people actually get old, face mounting health concerns and shrinking finances. The one that doesn't all play out on a sun-drenched beach. In a sobering piece last week, Jonathan Clements, a personal finance columnist for the Wall Street Journal, reported on how few people are actually heeding solid retirement advice and doing smart things like switching out of stocks as they get older. Moreover, he noted, only 66% of workers say that they or their spouse have any retirement savings at all. Against that, Fortune's $5 million magic number and its tales of frolicking 50-year old "retirees" seems woefully misguided. No wonder people are ignoring retirement advice. What chance do they have if they can't nab that billionaire?—Yvette Kantrow
