Slate's Moneybox column examines the recent trend of buyout firms jilting brides at the altar. While Dan Gross didn't use that analogy, he did fill the column with similarly colorful language that make "Masters of the Universe" Henry Kravis and Steve Schwarzman seem more like "Lord of the Idiots" Jerry Seinfeld and George Costanza.
While the column alludes to Paul Simon's 1975 hit "50 Ways To Leave Your Lover," it in fact only observes four ways to break off a deal:
Just blame the bank, Hank: PHH
See you in court, Mort: Sallie Mae
Buy a minority stake, Jake: Harman International
Pay the breakup fee, Lee. And set yourself free: United Rental
Gross concludes: "Sure, that's only four. But the credit crunch is just starting ... private equity firms are still waiting in vain for bridge loans over troubled waters." — Matthew Wurtzel
