This one's almost too easy. Citigroup Inc. (NYSE:C) Friday sent out a press release proudly announcing its participation in Teach Children to Save Day.
"Citi volunteers make learning fun, incorporating hands-on scenarios and real-life experiences into lessons that explain the basics of saving, how interest makes money grow, how to create a budget and how to distinguish needs from wants," the press release says, without so much as a hint of irony.
The announcement doesn't make entirely clear who these "volunteers" are, or how they might be qualified to teach today's youth about financial responsibility. It kind of makes you wonder who was hired to write this thing. Maybe the staff of "Saturday Night Live"? Either way, if you wanted to make a satirical spoof of Citi's troubles you'd be hard-pressed to find a better script.
For example, what exactly are these "real-life experiences"? How to create a run on the banks in six easy steps? How to overspend for assets in a decade-long acquisition spree that leaves you overleveraged, depresses your stock price and leaves you teetering on the brink of insolvency?
And how, pray tell, might these translate into "lessons that explain the basics of saving"? How can anybody at Citigroup pretend to know about saving anything (without government help of course)? Or is that part of the lesson? "Hey kids, the best thing about this money business is if you spend it all, the government will simply print more for you!"
Did anybody at Citi read this thing before they sent it out? What to make of the gushing announcement of the launch of "teachchildrentosave.com, a compliment (sic) to the traditional classroom-based lessons"? Are they serious about this? Or is it an April Fools' joke, 23 days late? - Nathaniel Baker
See press release from Citi
Continue reading below
